In my previous article, I talked about how to pet the donkey and deal with difficult people. I wanted to talk a little more about donkeys at work since this is something that most of you have to deal with all the time. Working with difficult people is one of the hardest things to do everyday. The key to success is to learn how to deal with that donkey.
First, don’t fear the donkey. It’s just a donkey, similar to any other road block you may have encountered before. Second, acknowledge that the donkey problem exists. Face it. You have a problem with this donkey, otherwise, he wouldn’t bother you so much. It’s OK. Everyone works with difficult people. It’s how we deal with them that will make us winners and losers. Finally, choose a strategy for the donkey and if it doesn’t work, try a different one. Don’t give up. There is always a way to deal with the donkey. So, here are the top 8 ways to do so.
Petting the Donkey at Work – 8 Ways to Deal With Difficult People At Work
1. Act stupid: Sometimes, donkeys just want to be smarter than you. Act like the stupid one. Pretend they are smarter than you. Let them educate you. Sometimes, if they think they are smarter, if they think they came up with the idea (even if they didn’t), then they will respond better than when they feel like the dumber person. So, act stupid. There is no shame in doing this, especially if you reach your end goal with the donkey.
2. Stroke their ego: Sometimes, you just have to help the donkey feel good about himself. A positive comment, a note of encouragement – stroke his ego and you may get what you want.
3. Instill fear: Get a higher authority than yourself (manager, VP, the higher the better) to agree with you. Then, use that person to back you up.
4. Go through someone else: If that doesn’t work, get someone else to help you get it done. I mean, why do you always have to be the one to pet the donkey? Sometimes, just having another person will make it easier.
5. Bribe and Barter: Trade with or bribe the donkey. Give him something he wants more and he will be more likely to give you what you want.
6. Go around them: One way, although not always ideal, is just to go around the donkey. Find his manager or someone else in his group and just work with them.
7. Create buzz, build it up: Sometimes, the best way to get a donkey on board is to create buzz. Yes, even internally, you sometimes have to do some marketing. Start talking about your project. Make it sound so great that everyone will want to join in. Eventually, that donkey will feel so left out that he’ll come around on his own without you ever having to ask.
8. Do him a favor and then call in a favor: Finally, don’t forget that doing the donkey a favor will allow you to call in that favor later on. When you do the favor, don’t forget to remind him that you might need to ask him for one someday. Make sure he is aware that you are doing him a favor. Donkeys love to forget about things like this, so if you have to, get it in writing before you do the task. Email him and let him know that you would be “happy to do it,” but you’ll need him to do the same later on. Get him to agree before you do anything. Later on, when asking for the favor, send over that same email as a reminder. It’s ok not to be subtle here. Remember, you’re dealing with a donkey!
So, who’s your donkey and what strategy do you use?
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I tend to do no. 6 – go around them because I hate confrontation. Thanks for giving me some new strategies, maybe I’ll try something different.
I like 5. I’m a great cook and I noticed that cookies tend to do the trick. They say the key to some men are through their stomachs!
I have such a hard time with no. 8. I do so many favors, but lots of times, they are never returned or that person just doesn’t do one back for me. I’m going to try a different strategy instead of doing so many favors, especially when I don’t know how to get someone to return the favor.