Part 3: Judges of the Bragging Contest

In Part 1 of this series, I introduced you to the Bragging Contest.  Then, in Part 2, I taught you how people brag and how to play the game.  Now, I am going to tell you more about the judges of the contest.

Your reputation is based on what people think about you. People are judging you all the time. They are listening to what you say and do, and even what you don’t say and do. Lots of times, they are listening to what other people are saying about you and you have no control over that. To improve your reputation and win the Bragging Contest, you have to understand the group of judges you are trying to win over.

First, remember that the judges are everyone in the group that you are in. At work, they are all of your co-workers, your bosses, people on your team and other teams you work with. With friends, they are everyone in that group that you hang out with and all of the extra people that come along. With family they are your immediate family and then all of your aunts, cousins and extended family. The group can change when new people join, but for the most part it is the people that are interacting with you and forming an opinion about you. The one thing to remember though is that certain members of the group are more important than others.

Have you ever watched American Idol and listened to the judges’ reactions? In the past, Paula Abdul used to always be neutral. She would never really say anything extreme and most of the time she was pretty nice to people. On the opposite end would be Simon Cowell. He would always say something extremely good or extremely bad. Some people relied on his opinions since they felt like he knew more. Just like these judges, the judges in your groups are not all equal.

Everyone in the group is a judge, but every judge has a different amount of influence. In the Bragging Contest, it is the influential people that matter the most. To win, make sure that specific judges have heard you compete.

The 4 Influential Judges

1) Big Boss: This is the person that clearly is the leader of the group. At work, these people are easy to spot. They are your Vice Presidents, Senior Executives, Senior Manager and people in the group that are leading the team. With family and friends these people are easy to spot as well. They are the Godfather or the one that everyone looks to for direction. What they say usually goes and this is why they have a lot of influence. Their opinion of you matters much more than anyone else’s opinion.

2) Little Boss: This is the person that gets around the most and has the ear of the Big Boss. He is the Big Boss’ representative – when the Big Boss needs something done, this is the person that he sends to do it. This person most likely interacts with many people in the group and spends all day talking to different people. Because of his responsibilities for talking to different judges and the fact that he is the Big Boss’ representative, this person is capable of influencing a lot of people.

3) Everybody’s Friend: This is the person that everybody likes. Everyone will come and talk to him. He knows everything that goes on, but he doesn’t ask for it. People respect his opinions so they come and talk. He knows everyone really well, from the Big and Little Boss to the Secretary and children. Because he uses discretion, has a great reputation, listens more than he talks, and is well respected, this person is able to easily influence your reputation.

4) Gossip: This is the person that is the biggest gossip of the group. He talks to everyone and spends all day spreading news. People like talking to him although they might not respect him. The reason the Gossip is so influential is because he talks so much. People may not always believe him, but people will repeat what he says. Even if something is not true, if many people know about it and talk about it, they may start to think it’s true. That’s why the Gossip ends up with so much influence.

Each of these judges have a lot of influence in the group. The Big Boss tends to direct opinions more while the Gossip tends to spread it, but Everybody’s Friend can change the group’s opinion really fast. That’s why it is so important to pay attention to who the influencers are. You won’t win anything if your reputation hasn’t improved.

You have to play in front of an influencer to truly win the Bragging Contest.

It is these influencers that will change the opinions of the group a lot faster than other people. You can play the game all day in front of non-influencers and you might only improve your reputation a little. You can play all day in front of your friends, the people that already have a good opinion about you and your reputation won’t improve much.

You are trying to change the opinion of the group. Your friends, non-influencers, and the same people will all have the same opinion. Playing in front of them won’t make much of an impact and therefore won’t allow you to win. Next time you play, consider who you are playing in front of. Don’t bother to enter the contest if you are not playing in front of the right person. That will do nothing, take up a lot of your time, and take away your advantage. Now that you understand the judges better, I will talk to you about how to win. In the next article I will show you how to play the game and teach you strategies to improve your chances of becoming a winner of the bragging game.