Now that you know about the Bragging Contest, and you know that you have to enter, how do you know when people are playing? To know when it happens, learn what the main types of bragging contests revolve around and then learn to identify when they occur.

Types of Bragging Contests

The Bragging Contest is all about improving your reputation. The key to understanding when these contests happen is to understand what the group values and thinks is important. This will help you see what type of reputation you have to build up. Every group values something different. Know what the group values so you can improve your reputation in those areas. Below, I have listed the main contests that happen in the 2 key groups of your life: Work and Friends & Family. Using these contests as examples, you can start to figure out the contests going on in your groups.

Work
What is valued: Your reputation at work revolves around how you help the company achieve its goals. Everything related to what you do and how you accomplish your work is important to your reputation.

Key Contests:

1. I am a Hard Worker
2. I have Great Ideas
3. I am Smart
4. I Am A Leader
5. I take Initiative
6. I have Skills – These skills can be in different areas such as “I’m a Great Developer,” “I’m a great Designer,” “I’m a great Salesperson,” etc. Just remember, the more skills you have, the better.
7. I do Great Work
8. I am Dependable
9. The Senior people trust me and like me

Friends & Family
What is valued: With friends & family, the values are really different. With them, it’s all about the softer things and what you give and receive.

Key Contests:

1. I can be Counted On / I am Reliable
2. I am Fun
3. I am Generous
4. I am Loyal
5. I give Good Advice
6. I Share
7. I am not Judgmental
8. I am a Good Listener
9. I am Thoughtful

You are probably part of many different groups. Their values and the resulting Bragging Contests will most likely be a combination of the things above. If you aren’t sure what those values are, start by figuring out what the contests are.

Identifying the Bragging Contests
The trick to identifying the contests is to know the different ways people are bragging. People brag all the time. Some people are obvious and you will know right away that they are trying to brag. Others are more subtle and you may not know until the contest is over.

Pay attention to how people brag so you can enter the Bragging Contests.

Here are 5 ways that people brag about themselves. By learning how other people brag, you can start to identify when the contests are happening . This way, not only can you enter them yourself, but you can also use these methods to start your own contests.

How People Brag

1. Direct Brag: This is the most obvious brag to spot because the person just tells you his brag without hiding it behind anything. A lot of times, you will hear the name of the contest in the person’s brag.

Examples:
• “I have Great Ideas” Bragging Contest: A person who says it directly would say “I have so many great ideas that my team never knows which one to choose.”
• “I’m a Great Salesperson” Bragging Contest: A direct person would say “I’m such a great salesperson, I brought in 5 clients this month.”

How to spot this brag: It’s really easy to spot the brag since a person will just use the name of the contest in his brag. So, “I have great ideas blah, blah, blah.”

2. Not Really Related Brag: This is when someone takes the main topic of conversation and turns it into a brag by relating the topic to something they did. The topic could be anything and the person could use that topic to reference an accomplishment or something he is good at.

Examples:
• “I do Great Work” Bragging Contest: Here, imagine a group of people talking about launching a new shopping website. A bragger could insert his brag by saying something like “I launched a social network website last year. My social network website was really successful and I created all of the important features.”
• “I have Good Taste” Bragging Contest: Here, people may be talking about someone’s fantastic new jeans from Macy’s. A person will then try to brag by saying something like “I just bought a great shirt from Neiman Marcus.”

How to spot this brag: In these 2 examples, the bragger took the topic of conversation, but then used it to talk about himself. You can spot this brag if you hear someone go off the main topic of conversation and say something about himself that is not related to what everyone was talking about. The first person talked about how he built a social network website, something that wasn’t related to the shopping website. The second person talked about buying their shirt from Neiman Marcus, something not related to the jeans from Macy’s.

3. Feelings Brag: This is when a person talks about how they feel and inserts a brag at the end. By talking about their feelings, other people are thrown off and the brag comes unexpectedly.

Example:
• “I take Initiative” Bragging Contest: A group of people could be talking about their weekend. The bragger could say something like “I feel so tired. I hardly got any rest. I was doing this new project all weekend that the boss didn’t even ask for.”
• “I give Good Advice” Bragging Contest: A group of people could be talking about a friend who went through a hard time. A bragger could tell his friends the following: “I am so happy she took my advice and made some changes in her life.”

How to Spot: Listen up for people who talk about their feelings, but also say something about themselves. In the first example, the bragger used his own feelings “I feel tired” and extended those feelings to a brag about how he took initiative. In the second example, the bragger did something similar by telling everyone he was “so happy” because he gave advice to their friend. Using feelings is harder to spot since it is masked by someone’s feelings. To hear the brag, you have to keep listening past the feelings and see if the person tries to add something extra about those feelings.

4. Share Brag: This happens when the bragger shares something about himself, but within that something are details to show how good that thing is. Though it is bragging, it sounds less like bragging and more like being open and friendly. This type of brag occurs in all types of Bragging Contests.

Example:
• “I am Generous” Bragging Contest: A group of friends could be talking about an upcoming birthday and how to best celebrate this birthday for their friend. A bragger could easily “share” how he bought a fantastic present for his friend and say something like “I just bought my present. It’s this beautiful Louis Vuitton wallet.”

How to spot: In the example above, the bragger shared how he had already purchased the gift.  He shares the brand of the gift so people will know how expensive it was. By sharing this piece of information, he has now conveyed how generous he is. However, since it was in the context of sharing what he did, it doesn’t look like he is bragging at all. Instead it just sounds like he is sharing his plans for celebrating his friend’s birthday. This style is a lot harder to spot since it is masked in the form of sharing.

5. Compliments Brag: This final style is the hardest to detect. This happens when the bragger gives a compliment, but within the compliment is hidden a brag about himself. It is heard like a compliment and taken like a compliment, but people also remember the brag.

Example: “I Know Many Important People” Bragging Contest. An easy way this occurs is when the bragger compliments a person, but references someone else in the process. She could say “Congratulations on your success. I heard from that you signed a big client.”

How to spot: Spot this one, by listening for something about the bragger within a compliment. In the above example, the bragger has now given a compliment, but also indicated that she heard the news from an important person. This is a subtle way of bragging about the important person (Mr. VIP) that she knows, but is given in the form of a compliment so it is much harder to detect.

There are other ways that people brag besides the 5 I describe above. The key to discovering them is to pay attention to what people are saying and figure out whether or not there is a brag hidden in there. Listen for times when people are talking about themselves. Watch how other people brag so you can copy them or learn what not to do when you are playing in the contests.

Knowing the types of contests and identifying how they occur are 2 very important parts of playing the Bragging Contest. Now that you know when to play, you have to learn how to win. Winning requires a whole new level of understanding. To win requires you to understand who the judges are and tactics for winning. I will cover that in the next 2 articles. Stay tuned…

Are you that person that is always stuck doing all the work that nobody wants to do? Are you the one that always stays late, cleans up after everyone, and does everyone’s little minor tasks that they “forgot” to do? Have you ever stepped back to think about what this means for your career?

When you talk about someone or something, how much do you usually remember? Most of the time, you probably just remember 1 or 2 big things, not the details. Think about one of your friends – can you remember the name of her dog or 3 kids? Or, do you just remember the fact that she is really tall and lives in San Francisco? Think about your high school memories – do you even remember the names of your teachers? Probably not. But, I bet you remember that awful prom date or the first time you snuck a drink with friends. People only remember the big things that happen, not the little things.

Your boss sits down once a year to write your review and determine whether or not you to give you that promotion, raise, or bonus. This means he only thinks about what you’ve done once every 12 months. Throughout the year, he’ll thank you or recognize you for doing lots of different things, but at the end of the year, he won’t remember any of those little things. Yup, he won’t remember that one time you stayed late to work on a team project, nor will he remember that you were the one that always volunteered for the little things that nobody wanted to do. When he writes your review, all he’ll remember are the big things that you did.

Focus on the big things where you can make a big impact and get recognized for the work. Don’t waste your time working on the small projects.

Work is full of lots of small little details that have to be done and taken care of. You could spend all day doing all of these little tasks. At the end of the day, those details won’t matter at all. If nobody did them or nobody thought about them, nothing would happen and eventually somebody would take care of them if they needed them done for something. But, if the projects or tasks are big, if they are important to the success of the company or your team, then somebody will ask about them and somebody will notice if they are not done.

Don’t be the person that always takes care of the little things. That adds up to a lot of time doing a lot of crap that doesn’t matter. Be the person known for doing the big projects that count.

The big projects, the visible projects, and the ones that are a high priority to senior executives, are the projects that you need to spend most of your time on. These are the big projects that will make an impact and give you credit and recognition. At the end of the day at the end of the year, nobody really remembers the little things. It’s the big things that count and will make a difference between getting the promotion and getting overlooked.

In my previous article, I talked about how to pet the donkey and deal with difficult people. I wanted to talk a little more about donkeys at work since this is something that most of you have to deal with all the time. Working with difficult people is one of the hardest things to do everyday. The key to success is to learn how to deal with that donkey.

First, don’t fear the donkey. It’s just a donkey, similar to any other road block you may have encountered before. Second, acknowledge that the donkey problem exists. Face it. You have a problem with this donkey, otherwise, he wouldn’t bother you so much. It’s OK. Everyone works with difficult people. It’s how we deal with them that will make us winners and losers. Finally, choose a strategy for the donkey and if it doesn’t work, try a different one. Don’t give up. There is always a way to deal with the donkey. So, here are the top 8 ways to do so.

Petting the Donkey at Work – 8 Ways to Deal With Difficult People At Work

1. Act stupid: Sometimes, donkeys just want to be smarter than you. Act like the stupid one. Pretend they are smarter than you. Let them educate you. Sometimes, if they think they are smarter, if they think they came up with the idea (even if they didn’t), then they will respond better than when they feel like the dumber person. So, act stupid. There is no shame in doing this, especially if you reach your end goal with the donkey.

2. Stroke their ego: Sometimes, you just have to help the donkey feel good about himself. A positive comment, a note of encouragement – stroke his ego and you may get what you want.

3. Instill fear: Get a higher authority than yourself (manager, VP, the higher the better) to agree with you. Then, use that person to back you up.

4. Go through someone else: If that doesn’t work, get someone else to help you get it done. I mean, why do you always have to be the one to pet the donkey? Sometimes, just having another person will make it easier.

5. Bribe and Barter: Trade with or bribe the donkey. Give him something he wants more and he will be more likely to give you what you want.

6. Go around them: One way, although not always ideal, is just to go around the donkey. Find his manager or someone else in his group and just work with them.

7. Create buzz, build it up: Sometimes, the best way to get a donkey on board is to create buzz. Yes, even internally, you sometimes have to do some marketing. Start talking about your project. Make it sound so great that everyone will want to join in. Eventually, that donkey will feel so left out that he’ll come around on his own without you ever having to ask.

8. Do him a favor and then call in a favor: Finally, don’t forget that doing the donkey a favor will allow you to call in that favor later on. When you do the favor, don’t forget to remind him that you might need to ask him for one someday. Make sure he is aware that you are doing him a favor. Donkeys love to forget about things like this, so if you have to, get it in writing before you do the task. Email him and let him know that you would be “happy to do it,” but you’ll need him to do the same later on. Get him to agree before you do anything. Later on, when asking for the favor, send over that same email as a reminder. It’s ok not to be subtle here. Remember, you’re dealing with a donkey!

So, who’s your donkey and what strategy do you use?

What should I wear? How come I never have any cute clothes in my closet? Why don’t I have enough money to buy what I want?

You are probably always looking for something new to wear to your next event. New is fresh and fun. New means that you don’t have to worry about whether or not someone has seen you wear that outfit before. Yes, although you can re-wear your outfits, wearing something new always feels a little bit better. If you are trying to make a good impression and want something new but you can’t afford it, then consider this new service I just found – Rent the Runway.

This new website lets you choose a designer dress to rent for one tenth the price of actually buying the dress in the store. This means, you can “buy” 10 new dresses for the price of 1. Most of the time, you will run out and splurge on a new dress for a special occasion and then try to wear it to another event much later. But, if the dress is really distinctive, you will have a hard time wearing it to something else, especially if someone you know has already seen you in it. So, what to do?

To look good and save money, rent your next designer dress.

There is no better way for you to stretch your fashion budget and still wear something new each time. The service is easy: you go to their website, “shop” through the dresses, and choose the one you want. After you’ve chosen your dress, you select the dates you want to rent it for and they will mail you the dress 2 to 3 days before your event. You can then keep the dress for anywhere from 4 to 8 days. After you wear it, you mail it straight back to them in the return envelope that they provide and you don’t have to worry about the hassle of dry cleaning.

The site has some fantastic designer dresses including ones by Diane Von Furstenberg, Hervé Léger and Proenza Schouler. They are also partnering with a lot of new designers so you will find a huge selection to choose from. Don’t worry about fit because the site lets you rent 2 different sizes of the same dress if it is your first time renting from a new designer.
I’ve spoken to a few women who have started to use this service and they all love it. They love the ease of use and they love the little extras that are sent along with the dress. The dresses are delivered in a custom garment bag and they also mail you a “fit kit” which includes double-sided tape, bra strap adjusters and deodorant stain removers so you don’t have to run out and buy these little things.

The only down side I’ve seen is that they currently have a waiting list to become a member. Better sign up now ladies, before the list gets too long!

Savvy Shout Out – Big thanks for this great money and fashion tip from a savvy fashionista in New York!

Are you lazy? No way! Do you want to be lazy? I do. Not sure about you, but I can’t seem to get away from work. This morning, I saw a new study that said that 41% of people check their email right after they wake up! Instead of lying in bed, getting a cup of coffee, or even getting up to go the bathroom, people check their emails. Are you one of them?

With the internet and cell phones, we now work all the time and hardly get any rest. We even frown on people who we think are lazy and take lots of breaks. That co-worker of yours who always leaves at 6 PM? Yes, every time you see her leave, you probably think about how she’s never going to get promoted. That friend of yours who always tells you about skipping the gym and sleeping in? Yup, she’s the one that you know will get really fat soon.

The problem is, if you don’t take a break once in awhile, you will eventually burn out. You cannot constantly stress something and expect it to stay strong. When body builders are trying to build muscle, their trainers always tell them to rest for 1-2 days between workouts in order to give their muscles time to repair and grow. Your brain and body need the same thing. If you are not lazy and you don’t rest, they won’t have time to repair and grow and they won’t perform at their peak. Instead, they will experience long-term damage that you won’t be able to fix later.

Be lazy and be happy. Take time to rest now so you can be more successful.

Being lazy doesn’t mean that you will miss out on the next big project. It means that you allow yourself to relax and take a break from the buzz of work, meetings, and life. It means you allow your body and mind to relax so they can recharge. Have you ever noticed how refreshed and happy you feel after a vacation? This is the same thing! Consider it a mini-vacation each time you are lazy. Take 1 hour and go to the spa. Lie in bed for an extra 30 minutes and read a good book. Choose something that relaxes you and will make you happy and take some time to do it.

Be lazy. Find what recharges you and make that your own secret to life success. Trust me. After you get back to your work, you will find yourself with so many more new ideas and new energy to do even more than before.