Have you ever noticed how you’ve heard everything about the personal life of your office secretary or the junior level people in your office? You know what they’ve done for the weekend, who they’ve had flings with, and what their favorite foods are. But, have you noticed that you don’t know all about your Vice President or your CFO? Well, that’s because they don’t make it a point of being your friend. You aren’t friends with them on facebook, you don’t know where they live, you don’t know what they are up to for the weekend. Of course, this may be totally different if you have a small office or work in a start-up, but if you work in a corporate environment, most likely, you will not know much about the people that are more senior than you. Why? Because those people are not trying to be your friends.
Get ahead and take a page from their book:
Don’t be friends with those you manage.
Here’s the problem. You and someone you manage are really good friends (let’s call her “Tina”). Thursday night, you are planning to go out, have dinner and drinks and have some fun. Friday morning, you are expected to turn in a big report and you are expecting a deliverable from Tina. Tina tells you late Thursday afternoon that she is not done, but she is excited to go out that night. You need that report and you need to tell Tina to stay late and finish it since you cannot push the deadline back and you should not push the deadline back. Well, you tell Tina this, she gets annoyed, and you no longer have plans for that night. Or, you don’t tell Tina and she goes out, but Friday morning, you are screwed. You look like you can’t manage your team, not Tina. So, either way, you are a little screwed because you and Tina are really good friends.
The Rules:
Don’t be friends with those you manage. Don’t put them on your facebook account, don’t tell them about your love life, don’t tell them too many personal details about yourself.
Why?
This will be really fun for awhile, but one day, it could backfire on you. She could reveal personal information about you that you don’t want other people to know. She could also turn against you and not finish her work. You could get into a fight at work and therefore affect your friendship outside of work. If this happens, you won’t move up.
Exception
Of course there is always an exception, but the key to success is to use your discretion and judgment. To protect yourself, if you are friends, make sure you know as much personal information about them as they know about you. Also, make sure you have other friends to rely on in case you have a disagreement at work. Finally, make sure you take a break from each other once in awhile since too much of a person will sometimes lead to a disagreement.